Fun with Knives
Worst. Album Covers. Ever.
If you want a good laugh, check out some of these masterpieces. Man, I scrolled almost all the way down before I got to a Millie Jackson cover. These lists keep getting better and better.
Sacrifice of the Nazarene Child Fest
If you only read one story this year about bands that dress in nun costumes and drench themselves in chicken blood, make this the one. "I love these gatherings,” said one festival goer, “because I can't ever find anyone who likes this shit!” Truer words…
How Predictable
The petulant brats in …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead have left behind the greedy fat cats in the record industry to start their own record label. It was only a matter of time before anyone with any sanity left at Interscope got tired of Conrad Keely’s antics. Fer chrissakes, write another Source Tags and Codes already, willya?!
Hey, Just Like the Real Chinese Democracy!
The Ballad of Kevin Skwerl and the New Guns n’ Roses Tracks. It reads like a webisode of The Lone Gunmen.
The Many Moods of Primal Scream
Bobby Gillespie and crew are back with yet another new face: pop band with a message. Color me interested.
7.4.08---MSG
Pearl Jam
Live in New Jersey – 6.19.08
In the spring of 1992, in my zany college days, I saw Pearl Jam play on their first tour at a club called Tipitina’s in New Orleans. It was the beginning of the grunge gold rush, when Nirvana, Soundgarden and a host of other long-haired, flannel wearing hippies were staging the latest rock ‘n roll uprising. At the time, PJ was view as a bit more commercial than those other bands, likely because they conveyed the entire range of human emotions, not just angst. Nevertheless, angst is what I got at this particular gig. It was the heyday of ‘slam dancing,’ mainly just an excuse by young men to unleash their inner droogs. I can’t say that I ever gravitated towards that phenomenon, but it found me anyway. As I watched the gig from about the middle of the club, some jerk-off decided to start a mosh pit on my head. Completely unexpected, Johnny Brain Surgeon jumped on my head from behind, knocking out one of my front teeth in the process. At the cost of roughly $1,000 worth of dental work, that is the most expensive concert I’ve ever attended.
Truth Telling Time
Please Feed the Animals
Out of the blue on Thursday, Girl Talk released a new record of mash-up mania, Feed the Animals. Come on, you know you’ve always secretly wanted to hear Lil’ Scrappy rhyming over Ace of Base. No shame; just admit it.
Where You Been, Man?
In other news of folks who are back, freakshow soul rocker Cody ChestnuTT returns from Mars to drop a song in support of Obama, "Afrobama: The Unified Party Anthem". Cody’s got some more African sounds going on than in his previous work; pretty interesting.
M.I.A. is D.O.A.
For reasons known only to her, Sri Lankan MC M.I.A. has decided to hang up her mic. Doesn’t she know she’ll sell more clothes if she’s out on tour wearing them?
Sarkozy Is One Lucky Bastard
French President Nicholas Sarkozy is serenaded by his new wife, actress singer Carla Bruni, on her latest album As if Nothing Had Happened. Only in France could the First Lady drop lyrics like, “You are my dope, more lethal than Afghan heroin, more dangerous than Colombian powder,” and “I am a child/Despite my 40 years/Despite my 30 lovers/A child.” Vive la France!
Looks Like We May Get that Free Dr. Pepper After All
Guns n’ Roses’ 14 years in the making Chinese Democracy briefly leaks to the internets, prompting speculation that we may hear what a $13 million album sounds like fairly soon. Of course, ‘fairly soon’ means about 3 years in Axl Rose time. Why not just release the album along with its’ 20th anniversary edition at the same time? Two birds, one stone.
Massive Attack Dream of Electric Sheep
Electro-dubbers Massive Attack re-work Vangelis’ legendary original score to Blade Runner, to the delight of music geeks everywhere.
6.21.08---MSG
Ladytron
Velocifero
There’s a lot to be said for finding your niche and settling into it. It makes life a lot easier, for starters. No more late nights and hangovers. No more hustling for the next big thing, whatever that may be. Besides, top-siders with no socks are both stylish and comfortable. We all get old and boring; it’s only a matter of time.
But the Rolling Stones’ deal with ol’ Scratch aside, settling in is not rock n’ roll. In fact, it is the death of rock ‘n roll, if the Eagles recent career has proven anything. Rock and electronic music are like sharks: always cruising, never sleeping, constantly on the move in search of a new target. When they stop pushing, they get dreadfully tedious and predictable, which is the ultimate musical sin.
6.17.08---MSG
MP3s, You Little Jerks
Mates of State, “My Only Offer”
Sounds Like: Your mom and dad kissing
Sigur Ros, “Gobbledigook”
Sounds Like: Elves running a marathon
Jaguar Love, “Bats Over the Pacific Ocean”
Sounds Like: Bon Scott joins the circus
Ratatat, “Mirando”
Sounds Like: A dancing pineapple screensaver
The Dandy Warhols, “The World the People Come Together (Come On)”
Sounds Like: Their old friends the Brian Jonestown Massacre
6.5.08---MSG
Everyone Take a Deep Breath
He Should Change His Nom de Guerre to Clown Shoes
Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan blathers on and on about how they’re the most brutal band in the history of music. It’s actually quite a funny read. The guys behind Metalocalpyse should probably sue him for ripping off every single one of their episodes in the span of one interview. “For me, this is like going to Vietnam, serving your tour and then the government asking you to do another tour because you're a badass,” said Crahan. “We've got 10 purple hearts, and we're f---ing killers.” Right. Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.
Detroit is a Torture Device
And that’s the reason why Jack White of White Stripes fame left for Nashville. The Raconteurs, knowing where their bread is buttered, followed him.
(news on Prince, Radiohead, Mogwai, and a blond popsicle)
6.3.08---MSG
Robyn
Robyn
When someone is offered the world and turns it down to do what makes them smile, it’s not always a decision that people understand. There’s a helluva lotta musicians out there that would sell their eternal souls for just one shot at the big time, even if they knew that shot would be the equivalent of “The Safety Dance.” There’s also an entire industry full of record company weasels that would draw up the contract with Old Scratch to make this a reality. So it wasn’t surprising that there were many in the record industry that lost control of their bladders when Swedish pop singer Robyn was given the chance to be the next Britney Spears and turned it down to write music that was actually good, as opposed to just popular...
6.1.08---MSG
One Foot Out the Door
Smashing Pumpkins - Billy Corgan’s Vocals = Gold
Some company is promoting a new audio format called MT9 that allows you to isolate and remove individual tracks on a song. Don’t like the keyboard riff on “Big Pimpin’”? Get rid of it. This has some very interesting possibilities. Probably not the best thing in the world for the minimalist form that rap has taken lately, though.
Sounds Like a Hot Mess to Me
While the touchscreen turntable mixer sounds like a good idea in theory, in actually, it sounds like the toy piano on my kid’s Fischer Price Exer-Saucer (which has a surprisingly good Daft Punk-esque setting by the way.)
Gosh Darn Sneaky Canadians
Those rat finks in the Canuck government want to raid the iPods and laptops of those making the desperate border crossing into the States for database conferences and vacations on the Redneck Riviera, looking for illicit MP3s and movies. Just don't tase me for my bootlegged copy of Canadian Bacon, bro.
A Little of the Good, A Little of the Bad
Gigwise breaks out a microscope and some tweezers to examine the top 50 rock stars who like to run around in the nakey. Bonus: boobies!
Hey La Di Da Di, the Guv Likes to Party
New York Governor David Paterson proves that he is likely the coolest legislator in the history of the U.S. and A. by issuing a pardon to legendary rapper Slick Rick. Get that man’s face on the $2 bill, stat!
5.28.08---MSG
Jamie Lidell
Jim
Commercial licensing issues aside, Jamie Lidell’s last album, Multiply, was the sound of an artist creating a new identity. Not just any new identity, mind you. He was engaged in that most quixotic of quests, the attempt of a DJ to make “real” music. While Lidell was primarily known as a DJ that threw some soul vocals onto his records, Multiply proved that, in fact, he was a talented singer who just happened to dabble in electronics. The fact that he used his techno-wizardry to enhance the entire vocal experience made his transition from “DJ” to “singer” all the more seamless. Of course there was the pejorative “blue eyed soul” tag applied to his new sound from many quarters (including this one) but in the end, Lidell’s vocals were too good, too authentic for him to be dismissed as a poseur...
5.26.08---MSG
High/Low
Anvil!
Who wouldn’t want to see a documentary about a sad little Canadian heavy metal band that no one has ever heard of? Communists and people that hate children, that’s who.
The Musical Equivalent of the $100 Cheesesteak
The Sooloos music system has everything you could want in a music player. If you’re Warren Buffet, that is. Basically, it’s a $13,000 iPod with a SQL server. Pointless and probably sinful.
Dude’s Whole Life is a Musical
Someone is trying to secure the rights to a musical version of David Bowie’s life. Personally, I’m looking forward to the scenes in the Bowie/Iggy Pop apartment in the Berlin era.
‘Investigate’ is the New ‘Real Talk’
Oh Lord, R. Kelly's underage sex trial is underway, and it’s already getting weird. The word “investigate” is now banned from the court room, on pain of mistrial. This is the remix edition of the song about pissin’…
Tom Waits Interviews a Most Fascinating Subject
Himself. And you won’t believe what he said. Next on Extra.
Clash of the Titans
This could be the greatest thing of all time or the breaking of the Seventh Seal. Human police magnet Pete Doherty is collaborating with Amy Winehouse on her new album. Sweet Baby Jesus on a Birchbark Canoe…
Just the Tip
Nigel Godrich, he of Radiohead production credit fame, is producing the latest Q-Tip record. Bonus: Obama raps. For real! Color me interested.
5.21.08---MSG
Hot Pock3ts
Jay Reatard, “Always Wanting More”
Sounds Like: Snot nosed brat punk
Florence & the Machine, “Kiss with a Fist”
Sounds Like: The sweet serenade of domestic violence that is a #1 hit in my South Philly neighborhood. *rim shot*
Raekwon [w. Ghostface Killah], “Jihad”
Sounds Like: Wu!
Amplive, “Of Montreal vs. MGMT (Remix)”
Sounds Like: Diamond Dogs era Bowie, through the looking glass.
Radar Bros., “Slack Motherfucker”
Sounds Like: Bearded Canadian scarf rockers screwing around in the studio, trying to scare the locals.
5.19.08---MSG
Archives for May
Archives for April
Top 10 Albums of 2007 and Top 25 Tracks of 2007